What is life?

Heavy question for such a nice day, but I am really wondering. Why am here and would anyone care if I was gone the next day? I mean really, what does it all matter. I am trying to lose weight but on the TV all weekend it has talked about how I am going to die since I am fat. At what point does it become too little too late? Also I am getting old. I will be 37 on my next birthday (if i live that long) that is right close to 40 and that is when everyone talks about getting cancer and dying of heart attacks. I had a dream last night that I had to have open heart surgery and I wondered if the surgery was worth. I am just not sure. And what am I going to do with my life anyway? I would very much like to work for either the sheriff's department or rescue squad, social work or something like, but once again I think my weight gets in the way. I know I use my weight was my shield, my wall and it is the perfect excuse for everything. But I am tired of using it. And then I stop and think, did I use that for too long and now it is too late to do anything. I just don't know.